Category: Birthright and Beyond

In the morning we climbed a waterfall in the Golan, which served as an excellent shower. Then we drove to Mt Bental which overlooks the Syrian border and contains a bunker from the 1967 war. It’s clearly put together as a tourist attraction, but is fun as a piece of kitsch. We got to listen to a one-sided history lesson about the various wars, the heroism of the Israeli tank commanders, and why the taking of the Golan Heights was a defensive move. While I concede that taking the high ground is a strategically important objective, the idea that Israel only fights defensive wars is clearly false.

We drove to Jerusalem, and prepared for the Mega Event, a gathering of all the birthright groups in country at the moment for a ritual orgy of zionism. The thousands of waving flags, thumping pop music, and unthinking group dynamic was reminiscent of rallies at Nuremberg. At least there was a dance party afterwards, where I was able to work out my political tension by unbuttoning my shirt and getting my groove on. I channel every eurotrash/arzt stereotype, and made a total fool of myself. It was glorious.

This is why we’re hot

Today we woke near the Sea of Galilee, at what is called a kibbutz but appears to really be a motel. Vivi, our tour guide, is almost unbearably chipper, and wakes us each morning to the dulcet tones of Israeli pop and cries of “boker tov.” Took a short hike up to a military base to get accustomed to the heat and humidity.

Lunch in the Kabbalist town of Tzvat which now appears to be simply a tourist trap. Then we went river rafting on the river Jordan, which is really just a stream. The current was fast enough to be fun, particularly when going around corners. Joel, one of our American guides, fell out of his raft, and decided to join ours on short notice. He dove in head first, causing Jared and I to duck. Kali didn’t see him coming, and got his face slammed into the top of her head. She had a sore noggin, but he got a bruise that lasted the rest of the trip.

Crump vs clown

After dinner, and an activity to discover our Judaism, we went on a cruise around the Sea in something resembling an Ark. Jared got his dance on, crumping with Vivi. Bruce, a former WNBA cheerleader, also showed his moves.

Left today for a birthright trip to Israel with Jared and Kali. It’s a free trip offered to young Jews who haven’t been to Israel before, to help them appreciate the state, and maybe get them to fall in love and make Jewish babies. Neither of these ends are our goals, but a free plane ticket around the world is too good to pass up.

El-Al 747

Jared failed the Jewish test administered by El-Al, and was searched closely before being allowed on the flight. When they found his Arabic textbook, they decided he was a security risk, and he was escorted onto the plane before the rest of us, surrounded by burly guards. This was an ignominious start.